Introduction
My dad decided to do a webpage for me when he realised that some people are still deluded enough to believe that stupid people can suddenly be smart, just because these stupid people proclaim themselves as smart. It seems that some leader of a big important country had just told everyone that he is like, really smart and a very stable genius - and that is when my dad realised that those same phrases also apply to me, even though I am just a little pug. But for a pug, I think I am super-smart and very probably a genius. However, unlike some people, I would never let anyone know this - mainly because then I would sound like a silly small dog.
We live in the middle of France, although we are originally from the United Kingdom. I spend most of my time with my dad, as my mum is often away looking after her father who lives in another village. Although I usually prefer to be with my mum (who cuddles me a lot), her being away is OK as my dad tends to let me go wherever I like on my walks - and I get at least two good walks a day. Mostly we go to the nearby hills and woods where my super-sharp nose can usually track down other dogs, cats, squirrels, badgers and sometimes the trails of foxes and pine martens from the previous day. Once in a while, we would stumble on rabbits and hares but they tend to disappear quite quickly and my legs are not exactly equipped to chase them - they are very fast indeed.
The building where we live in has a resident cat - it is a male cat but everyone calls him Lily because his testicles have not descended and he acts like a girl cat quite a lot. There is a lot of wildlife around us, even though the house is next to the main road through the village. We have lots of birds, feral cats, bats, field mice (usually in the winter when food is scarce) and even our own pine marten. Lily spends a lot of his time hunting and sometimes catching the little birds that come to feed on the greaseballs and grains left for them in the garden. I try to discourage him though.
Not many
people knows what a pine marten looks like, so here is a picture for
you.
They may look cute with their white furry necks
but they
are really strong for their size and quite vicious as well.
Pine
martens will hunt and eat birds, bats, insects, snakes, just
about anything - including small cats and dogs. So Lily and I avoid
going
out alone in the evenings when he usually comes around. My neighbours
and us leave him some leftover food like bones, cheese rinds and pieces
of fat for
his dinners whenever we can, probably because he looks so cute.The amount of wildlife is not really a surprise as our building is in between the road and a heavily wooded mountain. Sometimes my dad takes me on walks into the mountain as there is a little village about 4 kms away on the other side - he likes walking there but usually I have to tell him to turn back after about a km. So he takes me home and then goes to the next village across the mountain by himself. I am not sure why he does that as the village is so small and boring so it is likely because of the expansive views along the way, especially near the top. The village is quite old, practically ancient, and the chemin (or pathway) that leads there is probably at least a few centuries old. There are a lot of other mountains nearby and he goes walking around those mountains too, sometimes but not so often with my mum. She likes walking but only on the less hilly chemins. I do not mind whether the walks are hilly or flat but my little legs really cannot handle really long walks. After all, I am not a sheep dog who likes to run like an idiot for many kms to prevent even more stupid animals from getting lost.
Although I am very smart and really a genius, I think I get that more from my human brothers and sisters who are all also really (really) smart. My mum is pretty organised and intelligent too most of the time as she is always making lists of things to do - but I do worry about my dad. I mean, he can be brainy but he is usually not too clever after a few bottles of wine, which he loves drinking. I spend a lot of time wandering with him to the local bottle bank to clink and smash more bottles into the large green container. Once in a while I see the local council workers trying to pick up and precariously empty the bottle bank - it is always touch-and-go whether the crane ever manages to lift the heavy jangling container and crash it onto the recycling truck.
Anyway, whenever he is sober, my dad often talks to me about events in the UK, Europe, the USA and around the world. He reads a lot, in between the drinking and often I learn a lot, especially for a dog. He also likes making up lots of shit, probably to see if I would believe him. This he would do whether he has been drinking or not and he always sounds so serious when he explains stuff to me.
So I am never sure if the stories I report here from my dad are real or not - but nevertheless they are things I find interesting and funny. Some stories are also a little challenging, even though I am like, really smart and a very stable genius pug.
Oh, if you are still curious, here is a picture of Lily, the cat that lives here. I did say that he looks a little gay.
Pof the Pug
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